Celebrating 47 Years: Marriage Lessons From My Parents {part 2}

If you missed the first half of this post about marriage lessons from my parents, you can read it here! 

Continuing on…

{my Dad’s parents & my parents}

They loved each other till death do us part. My parents took their vows seriously. Even with the ups and downs of life, hard times, and some impossible situations, they didn’t bow out. They meant every word, including “in sickness and in health”. My mom suffered through a few health issues over the years. She had gallstones that caused serious pain. I could hear her crying many nights from the pain. My Dad was right there to rub her back and do anything he could to bring her comfort. With my Dad’s disability and other health concerns, my Mom knew about them and was right there to support him. She had his back, 100%. My mom started to go downhill in 2013. We believed she had a stroke during a mission trip in Honduras a few years earlier and never recovered. She started to lose control of her mobility. First, her hands would cause her a lot of pain. Then her legs, and it went on and on until she was bedridden. During this time a lot of her daily needs fell on my Dad. My siblings and I were there, but he did 90% of it. He would bathe her, pick her up, feed her, and on and on. He didn’t know how to pay bills since my Mom did all of those things. He had to learn how to pay bills, and run the household by himself. I remembered one time he needed to get my Mom to the bathroom but didn’t know how he would do it. Then he said, “I’m going to drag her!” He got some sheets and pillows and laid her on them. He then proceeded to drag her from the bedroom to the bathroom. I could just hear my Mom saying, “Andre you’re hurting me!” I laugh about this now. I laughed about it then. Why? Because my Dad is a McGyver. He will find a way to make something work. Another time he asked my sister to take him to the store. He was going to buy a pulley that he could hook her up to and then it would bring her from the bed to the chair. Yes, a pulley. His idea was something similar to what you would find in a medical facility, but he was at Home Depot buying a pulley machine! We laughed about that too. Even my Mom laughed. Because my Dad was just a man that would find a way to make it work, even if it was unconventional. Thankfully, we were able to get the right medical equipment to help the process go a little smoother.

Through all of this, my parents still loved each other. My Dad would climb in the bed with her because he wanted to be next to her. Standing outside their door one evening, I heard him talking to her softly and singing to her. My Dad is not a singer, but it was the sweetest thing. My Mom said something, but I couldn’t hear her responses. My Dad cared for my Mom until her very last breath. She died in his arms while he was trying to do CPR and revive her from a heart attack. Shortly after my Mom passed, my Dad’s health rapidly declined. After his Shirley passed, he kept talking to us about wanting to go, that he was ready to go. He talked about her all the time to us, how much he missed her, what Mama would say if she were here, her accomplishments, etc. In 2015, we all went up to visit her grave, and he shared more stories about Mama, his Shirley. A year later he was reunited with her. 

{parents 40th-anniversary party}

I could go on and share more about the things I have learned about my parents’ marriage, but these are the most important ones that stand out. You don’t give up, even when it’s hard, and you love until the very last breath. 

• They grew old together. My mom picked up weight over the years, and my Dad would just say those were love handles, and that he had more to love. 
• They traveled together. After we grew up and moved out, my parents traveled more, including several mission trips and international traveling. 

Now as I close this up, I’m left with tears and a broken heart. But, I’m a little happy about the 47th-anniversary party that’s going on in heaven right now. 

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad. We love you!